Why and why all these

Why do you say that you are happy
when anger is written all over your face
carved into that perfect nose of yours
quirking those eyebrows of yours
why do you say that you don’t
need help when you could use
one or three more hands
and even worse
why do you say that you’re sad
when all you need is saving
by the right  boy-band
by the right hand
by the happier times
by a sweeter dreamland.
listen up
i get it you’re conflicted
but  i’m also
i’m sick of the phrases you use
do you know who you’re screaming at
i’m sick of this
don’t touch  me
like an icicle you melt in the heat
and freeze in the freezer;
just when you’re happy,
i somehow get you madder
the best of me
was reserved for you but now that
you need saving
i find it so appalling
that all i get are angry burns from
places which you used to caress
all i  get are salty tears
sliding down cheeks you used to kiss
maybe if you didn’t read so much into every little thing
i wouldn’t be here, cutting my flesh for every
maybe if you bothered to accept
that you aren’t sad
but you’re just mad
you need saving
but you’re currently paving
the road to hell
in my chest.
please help yourself
i’m dying too
it isn’t fair
now you’ve got me far too blue
i’m shrinking away from sunshine
slipping right into my nightmarish dreams
watching chess pieces move on their own
cornering me and slitting my throat
with a polished hand and french manicure
you stomp on me with your high-top sneakers
who do you think i am
i’m someone who needs saving now
just because i fought for the wrong
the wrong
saved the wrong
i tried to help you anyway
but it was me who got the night
instead of the day
i don’t give a fuck because
i know i deserved it
(i deserve more than this
crying kleenex, slitting wrists.)
why am i sitting here
when i shld be moving
why am i standing up when
i should be sleeping
why am i alive when i should be dead
why am i living this life
when i don’t feel the vibe
why don’t i get a hug when i need it
why don’t you see the grief on my face
why don’t you get the hurt within me
because i’m crying now
it hurts.
I’ve got a suggestion for you;
I’ll extend an invitation to you–
Please accept this current pain
within you,
please let acceptance ebb through your veins,
and let’s look at our problems through
the holes of a Band-Aid,
a big one.

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